Category Archives: HorrorScopes

Weekly Horrorscopes (Horoscopes) are a bit snarky and twisted. Please don’t try this at home kids.

HorrorScopes: July 21-27

Aries (March 21-April 19)
Someone should really redefine what Bride-porn really is. It is a sensual journey as an exhausted couple attempts to remove and undo all 800 clips,...
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HorrorScopes: July 7-13

Aries (March 21-April 19)
You are seeking peace and harmony this week. Unfortunately, the military is testing two new rockets with the same name. Guess who is going to...
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HorrorScopes: June 9-15

Aries (March 21-April 19)
Carrying around full gasoline containers, Italian food, and quadrocopters in your car is a recipe for disaster. Just think what the cops will have to...
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