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	<title>Cinevore Studios &#187; HorrorScopes</title>
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	<link>http://cinevore.com</link>
	<description>Weird &#38; Nerdy. Comedy, sci-fi, etc. Projects include web shows Nerd vs. Geek, OverAnalyzers, and Victorian Cut-out Theatre. New content added weekly!</description>
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		<title>HorrorScopes: June 17-23</title>
		<link>http://cinevore.com/horrorscopes/horrorscope-68/</link>
		<comments>http://cinevore.com/horrorscopes/horrorscope-68/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 17 Jun 2013 04:00:45 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Wiccan Chicken</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[HorrorScopes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[funny astrology]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[funny horoscopes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[horoscopes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[parody horoscopes]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://cinevore.com/?p=1228</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Aries (March 21-April 19) You control your destiny, so you&#8217;re the only one that can truly predict your own future (besides the crazy guy in the alley. He&#8217;s psychic). Taurus (April 20-May 20) You will spend time obsessive-compulsively going through all of your pots and pans, pairing the tops to the bottoms. The kitchen looks like a stainless steel explosion. Gemini (May 21-June 21) Perhaps you should shake things up in your life. Flash a stranger or start a food fight. Just don&#8217;t do both at once; gum + pubes = mess. Cancer (June 22-July 22) Every day, your nose and ears grow a little longer. Soon, you&#8217;ll reveal your true elephant form, and people will start to call you Ganesha. Leo (July 23-Aug. 22) You will spend your evening&#160;<a href="http://cinevore.com/horrorscopes/horrorscope-68/" class="read-more">Continue Reading</a>]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://cinevore.com/horrorscopes/horrorscope-68/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>HorrorScopes: June 10-16</title>
		<link>http://cinevore.com/horrorscopes/horrorscope-67/</link>
		<comments>http://cinevore.com/horrorscopes/horrorscope-67/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 10 Jun 2013 04:00:44 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Wiccan Chicken</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[HorrorScopes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[funny astrology]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[funny horoscopes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[horoscopes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[parody horoscopes]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://cinevore.com/?p=1225</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Aries (March 21-April 19) Throw out those old chipped Teflon pans. They are going to give you cancer. Doesn&#8217;t your life sucks enough already? Taurus (April 20-May 20) It&#8217;s time to take care of that facial hair you&#8217;re sporting. Gemini (May 21-June 21) Mosquitoes will nibble at you this week. After one bite, they&#8217;ll walk off you drunker than a college girl at a toga party. Cancer (June 22-July 22) You&#8217;ll be relieved when a long-running series finally returns so you can stop watching those crappy reality shows. Leo (July 23-Aug. 22) At least 20% of your friends have filtered out your Facebook posts due to your excessive whining &#038; frickin game invites. Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) Learn French. Maybe then she&#8217;ll love you. Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 23) If you&#160;<a href="http://cinevore.com/horrorscopes/horrorscope-67/" class="read-more">Continue Reading</a>]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://cinevore.com/horrorscopes/horrorscope-67/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>HorrorScopes: June 3-9</title>
		<link>http://cinevore.com/horrorscopes/horrorscope-66/</link>
		<comments>http://cinevore.com/horrorscopes/horrorscope-66/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 03 Jun 2013 04:00:45 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Wiccan Chicken</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[HorrorScopes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[funny astrology]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[funny horoscopes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[horoscopes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[parody horoscopes]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://cinevore.com/?p=1210</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Aries (March 21-April 19) The mosquitoes in your neighborhood are planning an all-out attack on your left ankle, right arm, and both buttcheeks. Taurus (April 20-May 20) It&#8217;s time to stop obsessing on the computer and go for a walk. You could use the peaceful meditation and your ass could use the exercise. Gemini (May 21-June 21) We&#8217;re all sad about the war, natural diaster &#038; disease situation, but you might want to keep the conversation lighter at your friend&#8217;s b-day party. Cancer (June 22-July 22) No matter how hard you try, you will never be able to lick your elbow. You&#8217;re a disappointment. Leo (July 23-Aug. 22) Cranky mornings aren&#8217;t your fault; your body just operates better from noon until 4 a.m. Maybe you should move to Japan. Or&#160;<a href="http://cinevore.com/horrorscopes/horrorscope-66/" class="read-more">Continue Reading</a>]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://cinevore.com/horrorscopes/horrorscope-66/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>HorrorScopes: May 27- June 2</title>
		<link>http://cinevore.com/horrorscopes/horrorscope-65/</link>
		<comments>http://cinevore.com/horrorscopes/horrorscope-65/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 27 May 2013 04:00:05 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Wiccan Chicken</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[HorrorScopes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[funny astrology]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[funny horoscopes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[horoscopes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[parody horoscopes]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://cinevore.com/?p=1208</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Aries (March 21-April 19) During your spring cleaning, you threw out a rare VHS tape worth over $20,000. Taurus (April 20-May 20) Once, you ate an entire pie all by yourself. Someone was secretly filming you while you did it, and now its on YouTube for everyone to enjoy. Gemini (May 21-June 21) If you aren&#8217;t constantly surrounded by people &#038; communication devices, you start to think horrible dark things. Cancer (June 22-July 22) Your allergies will make you consider chopping down all trees and killing all animals. But you are also allergic to hard work, so you won&#8217;t. Leo (July 23-Aug. 22) While moving your giant grocery sack/handbag/luggage, you will knock someone out and not even notice. Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) Add some fire to your life! Currently, your&#160;<a href="http://cinevore.com/horrorscopes/horrorscope-65/" class="read-more">Continue Reading</a>]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://cinevore.com/horrorscopes/horrorscope-65/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>HorrorScopes: May 20-26</title>
		<link>http://cinevore.com/horrorscopes/horrorscope-64/</link>
		<comments>http://cinevore.com/horrorscopes/horrorscope-64/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 20 May 2013 04:00:28 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Wiccan Chicken</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[HorrorScopes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[funny astrology]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[funny horoscopes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[horoscopes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[parody horoscopes]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://cinevore.com/?p=1206</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Aries (March 21-April 19) You will discover that the most reliable channels for news are channels intended for comedy and vice versa. Taurus (April 20-May 20) All those &#8220;healthy&#8221; and &#8220;low fat&#8221; snacks you&#8217;ve been buying are loaded with sugar, sodium &#038; empty calories. Eat an apple, dammit! Gemini (May 21-June 21) Today, you just feel like making out with someone. It doesn&#8217;t matter who. Cancer (June 22-July 22) You spend more time speaking to people on social media than you do in real life. And about 2 out of 5 of those people are robots. Leo (July 23-Aug. 22) A Taurus in your life expects a surprise birthday or engagement party. The crystal ball suggests purchasing a stripper-cake. PS: Make sure the chef knows that you want the stripper&#160;<a href="http://cinevore.com/horrorscopes/horrorscope-64/" class="read-more">Continue Reading</a>]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://cinevore.com/horrorscopes/horrorscope-64/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>HorrorScopes: May 13-19</title>
		<link>http://cinevore.com/horrorscopes/horrorscope-63/</link>
		<comments>http://cinevore.com/horrorscopes/horrorscope-63/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 13 May 2013 04:00:51 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Wiccan Chicken</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[HorrorScopes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[funny astrology]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[funny horoscopes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[horoscopes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[parody horoscopes]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://cinevore.com/?p=1204</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Aries (March 21-April 19) You will spend all day looking at trending topics rather than accomplishing anything of significance. Taurus (April 20-May 20) Today, you will be distracted from your goals by sh&#8230;shine&#8230;..shiny object- brb Gemini (May 21-June 21) It&#8217;s a great time to meet new people, which is good because the losers that currently follow your Twitter are creepy. Cancer (June 22-July 22) You will have strange dreams revolving around animals. Of course, none of those animals are chickens. Pah, no one fantasizes about *ME*. Leo (July 23-Aug. 22) You will unsuccessfully try to improve your knowledge of linguistics. Well, I guess &#8220;Hooked on Phonics&#8221; doesn&#8217;t work for everyone. Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) Your computer is sabotaging your papers so you&#8217;ll miss the new episodes of Defiance. I guess&#160;<a href="http://cinevore.com/horrorscopes/horrorscope-63/" class="read-more">Continue Reading</a>]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://cinevore.com/horrorscopes/horrorscope-63/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>HorrorScopes: May 6-12</title>
		<link>http://cinevore.com/horrorscopes/horrorscope-62/</link>
		<comments>http://cinevore.com/horrorscopes/horrorscope-62/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 06 May 2013 04:00:17 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Wiccan Chicken</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[HorrorScopes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[funny astrology]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[funny horoscopes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[horoscopes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[parody horoscopes]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://cinevore.com/?p=1202</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Aries (March 21-April 19) Avoid contracts and life-altering decisions today. Just keep to your dull, lifeless routine of insignificance. Taurus (April 20-May 20) You&#8217;ve accrued $628 of interest on a pair of socks you purchased 6 months ago on a store credit card you forgot about. Gemini (May 21-June 21) Romance is very much on your mind, as are all things sensual. This sheep&#8217;s for ewe: Click Here Cancer (June 22-July 22) Some ass will try to change your opinion. Don&#8217;t be a sucker; just because an argument is *loud* doesn&#8217;t make it *correct*. Leo (July 23-Aug. 22) Everything in your life will be great today. Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) Reflect on what you&#8217;ve achieved in the last few months. Since that has been NOTHING, you should work on that.&#160;<a href="http://cinevore.com/horrorscopes/horrorscope-62/" class="read-more">Continue Reading</a>]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://cinevore.com/horrorscopes/horrorscope-62/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>HorrorScopes: April 29- May 5</title>
		<link>http://cinevore.com/horrorscopes/horrorscope-61/</link>
		<comments>http://cinevore.com/horrorscopes/horrorscope-61/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 29 Apr 2013 04:00:39 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Wiccan Chicken</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[HorrorScopes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[funny astrology]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[funny horoscopes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[horoscopes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[parody horoscopes]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://cinevore.com/?p=1200</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Aries (March 21-April 19) All the caffeine you&#8217;ve been drinking has you acting like Dr. Jekyll &#038; Mr. Hyde&#8230;but with much less fancy clothing. Taurus (April 20-May 20) You will do something really stupid on a dare and damage your gonads in the process. Bad for you, but good for the gene pool. Gemini (May 21-June 21) Every time you play Bejewled Blitz or Farmville2, a baby kitten gets smashed with a hammer. Cancer (June 22-July 22) You really need to open your eyes and take a good look at the world around you. Especially when you&#8217;re driving. Leo (July 23-Aug. 22) You will develop an allergy to something you love &#8211; your cat, chocolate, or cheap synthetic clothing. Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) Your voice sounds way more annoying in&#160;<a href="http://cinevore.com/horrorscopes/horrorscope-61/" class="read-more">Continue Reading</a>]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://cinevore.com/horrorscopes/horrorscope-61/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>HorrorScopes: April 22-28</title>
		<link>http://cinevore.com/horrorscopes/horrorscope-60/</link>
		<comments>http://cinevore.com/horrorscopes/horrorscope-60/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 22 Apr 2013 04:00:45 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Wiccan Chicken</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[HorrorScopes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[funny astrology]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[funny horoscopes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[horoscopes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[parody horoscopes]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://cinevore.com/?p=1198</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Aries (March 21-April 19) You were a German Vowel in a past life, and you miss your umlaut. This hat will fix it : Umlaut Hat Taurus (April 20-May 20) Avoid the temptation to use power tools. You don&#8217;t have good hand/eye coordination and your insurance won&#8217;t cover &#8220;acts of stupidity&#8221;. Gemini (May 21-June 21) You will be compelled to smash Twinkie between your toes. Record it to video. It will be a number one hit on YouTube. Cancer (June 22-July 22) Sometimes you just want to fly away. But your kinda like me &#8211; your wings are too small, you&#8217;re fat, and you&#8217;re a chicken. Leo (July 23-Aug. 22) It&#8217;s time to clean. Someone wrote &#8220;wash me&#8221; in your car last week, but it was immediately covered by additional&#160;<a href="http://cinevore.com/horrorscopes/horrorscope-60/" class="read-more">Continue Reading</a>]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://cinevore.com/horrorscopes/horrorscope-60/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>HorrorScopes: April 15-21</title>
		<link>http://cinevore.com/horrorscopes/horrorscope-59/</link>
		<comments>http://cinevore.com/horrorscopes/horrorscope-59/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 15 Apr 2013 04:00:02 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Wiccan Chicken</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[HorrorScopes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[funny astrology]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[funny horoscopes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[horoscopes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[parody horoscopes]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://cinevore.com/?p=1196</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Aries (March 21-April 19) You will end up paying more in taxes because you cannot claim your dog Fido as a dependent Taurus (April 20-May 20) Your tax bill cannot be paid with cheesy poofs. In fact make sure you get the orange dust off your return, or else you will have bigger problems with the government. Gemini (May 21-June 21) You&#8217;ll meet an attractive man in black. It&#8217;s a guy from the IRS with a couple questions about &#8220;deductions&#8221;. Cancer (June 22-July 22) The IRS considered auditing you, but then realized that you make no money. Leo (July 23-Aug. 22) You are so gullible. Your refund has been heisted by a slick salesman at a furniture rental store. Seriously, how are you going to fit a 7-piece living room&#160;<a href="http://cinevore.com/horrorscopes/horrorscope-59/" class="read-more">Continue Reading</a>]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://cinevore.com/horrorscopes/horrorscope-59/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
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