
Category Archives: HorrorScopes
Weekly Horrorscopes (Horoscopes) are a bit snarky and twisted. Please don’t try this at home kids.


HorrorScopes: May 26 – June 1
Aries (March 21-April 19)
Communication with partners is likely to be poor to nonexistent today. To learn what they really want, perhaps you should take the tape off their...
HorrorScopes: May 19-25
Aries (March 21-April 19)
No matter how much you work out, you will never lose your spare tire or those extra few pounds. This is because when you were...
HorrorScopes: May 12-18
Aries (March 21-April 19)
Avoid speedboats. And the color chartreuse, it really washes you out.Taurus (April 20-May 20)
Because some of the planets are out of alignment this month, be...
HorrorScopes: May 5-11
Aries (March 21-April 19)
A business or romantic partner may seem a bit preoccupied today. It's because of your breath.Taurus (April 20-May 20)
A fascinating article you read in the...
HorrorScopes: April 28-May 4
Aries (March 21-April 19)
One of your Facebook friends will unfriend you for using the wrong form of a verb.Taurus (April 20-May 20)
One of your Facebook friends will unfriend...
HorrorScopes: January 6-12
Aries (March 21-April 19)
This is not the time of year to let your homeowner appliance warranties to lapse. If you do, not only will the hot water heater...
HorrorScopes: December 30 – January 5
Aries (March 21-April 19)
You better watch out for "old friends" that you haven't seen in a few years. They have been living overseas, and are contagious with lord...
HorrorScopes: December 23-29
Aries (March 21-April 19)
Yet again all of the uninvited relatives will show up at your doorstep at 8am. This year they are changing things up and not telling...