Cookie Monster: Good job, we work off 300 calories walking. Why we watch “Glee” while we do it, me not know.
Me: I literally watch hundreds of independent films and smart comedies every year. Let me watch “Glee” in peace.
CM: Rachel Barry not as good role model as Tina Fey as Liz Lemon.
Me: No one on this earth is as good of a role model as Tina Fey.
CM: It true. Every time we watch “Glee”, we owe Tina Fey $10.
Me: I don’t have $1,020 to send Tina Fey.
CM: We watch 102 episodes of Glee?! That hour long drama! Think of things we could have written and done and changed in world instead of watching “Glee!”
Me: That’s exactly why I’m working out now while watching it. At least it’s semi-productive.
CM: This bad. Every time we watch “The Glee Project” we owe her $20.
Me: I don’t watch “The Glee Project”.
CM: Why you lie to self? Listening to it in background on Hulu.com tab without looking at screen still watching!
Me: I hate to point this out, but there is no correlation between Tina Fey and “Glee”. It’s not like they cancelled “30 Rock” for “Glee”. They’re not even on the same network.
CM: Networks no exist. Streaming is king. People watch “Glee” and other similar shitty show more than “30 Rock”, so “30 Rock” cancelled. We part of global problem. We owe Tina Fey apology letter.
Me: That’s psycho. I’m not sending Tina Fey any letter unless it’s a deal memo to her agent for some future co-production or something.
CM: Hahahahahaha, “deal memo”. Who we kidding? We never get to work with Tina Fey. We in hacky low-budget entertainment industry. We use ipad gaff taped to jewelry box on poster tube as teleprompter.
Me: It works…
CM: Of course it works, we genius at being low-budget producer. But we also consumer whore for watching “Glee”.
Me: How about I buy four copies of Tina Fey’s book and give it to all of my friends as gifts?
CM: Ok. But real version, not 99 cent bullshit Kindle version.
Me: But Kindles save precious trees!
CM: Are we accusing Tina Fey of depleting the rain forest?