Muppet Movie Time

Cookie Monster: Ahem.

Me: What?

Cookie: Why we not see new Muppets movie yet? It out several days.

Me: I know, I’ve been avoiding all Facebook conversations and news articles because I’m worried about spoilers.

Cookie: How Muppets can be spoiled? Muppets probably have problem, go on adventure filled with hi-jinx , fix everything.

Me: Right, right. It’s a proven formula.

Cookie: Heresy! Muppets not formulaic!!! How dare you insult Daddy Henson?

Me: Excuse me. I listened when you made me go see The Muppets new release on opening night at midnight like some creepy weirdo. I played “Somebody’s Getting Married” at my WEDDING. My inner voice is a MUPPET.

Cookie: Good point. Me revoke outburst. We go see Muppets Most Wanted now?

Me: We’re….I’m in the middle of a production budget.

Cookie: Ok. How about now?

Me: We’re making our own movies, dammit.  The Muppets is one of the key reasons I decided to go into comedy entertainment.

Cookie: Our project never be as good as Muppets.

Me: You never know! With the right connections and resources and…

Cookie: New Muppets movie have Tina Fey in it.

Me: Damn. Can’t compete with that. Ok, let’s go, we might be able to catch the 8:55.

Mother Voice: You should feel guilty about seeink a last minute movie because you didn’t call your friends dat can get you free movie tickets to tings! Movies now $10.75. You know how many tinks you can buy dah family for $10.75?

Cookie: Yes, yes, 75 hamburgers, we got it, run! Run! Run! Me missing everything!

Mother Voice: Sneak in a seltzer vater or I vill make you feel even vorse later!

Cookie: But me get caught, me get kicked out of movie. Very sad and embarrassing.

Mother: Put it in your coat! And von in your bag! And von-

Cookie: But me need to pee! What if me miss critical Tina Fey scene!

Mother: Remember, I gave you those diapers from when Nagymama died?

Me: CONTROL YOURSELF! I AM NOT WEARING MY DEAD GRANDMOTHER’S DIAPERS TO GO SEE THE MUPPET MOVIE!

Mother: Ok, okay. Den just von seltzer. Why are you alvays so mean to your modder?

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